Screen Gems Movie Reviews
with Kennie Bass. You'll find it First On Fox!

Evil Dead April 5, 2013
Evil Dead
Studio: TriStar Pictures
Rating: R for strong bloody violence and gore, some sexual content and language.

"The Evil Dead" is a bona fide cult classic, with legions of horror fans claiming it as one of their favorite movies ever.

Now, a new spin on the tale is out.

The story is similar to the original. Five 20-somethings venture to a remote cabin, where they discover the Book of the Dead. Unwittingly, they unleash demons living in the woods who want to destroy them...and ultimately the world.

Mia (Jane Levy) is a junkie who is trying to go cold turkey and kick the habit. Her brother David (Shiloh Fernandez) and her friends want to keep her at the cabin until she's clean. They don't realize they have much bigger problems than drug addiction.

Mia is the first to fall under the dark spell. But she quickly lets the rest of the group know they are in for a rough night.

And by rough night I mean she tells them that they are all going to die.

I really wanted to like this film. Honestly, I did. I love the original trilogy. It has some of the best scenes and lines in horror movie history. And Bruce Campbell is one of my movie heroes. I've liked him in just about every thing I've ever seen him do.

However, this remake doesn't live up its predecessor and the cast can't hold a candle to Bruce.

As the story unfolded the sad truth is I never started rooting for anyone. This group consists of some of the most wooden, self-absorbed and unlikable characters to ever grace the screen.

Mia is a lying, druggie brat and David isn't any better. He abandoned his sister and their dying mother for a job. Not exactly the most sympathetic guy in the world.

His girlfriend Natalie (Elizabeth Blackmore) is a bland, anonymous blonde. Oliiva (Jessica Lucas) is a nurse who uses questionable medical judgment. And they are joined by a teacher named Eric (Lou David Pucci) who is holding a grudge against David. And as a bonus he may be the dumbest instructor on the planet.

Eric is the one who unleashes the demons and he does so in a manner that is so outrageous that I wanted to yell at the screen and call him an idiot.

No! No! No! No! No!

Where the original used a clever device to set the evil free, here it is obvious and a bit insulting. Especially to anyone with a modicum of intelligence, which Eric clearly does not possess.

Speaking of possession, by the time the time the blood really started flowing, I was ready for each and every person in the cabin to die a painful and horrible death.

Go demons! Go demons!

Director and screenwriter Fede Alvarez has put together a paint-by-the-numbers scary movie which uses every cliche' imaginable.

Let's is the list:

The characters separate and are alone at the worst possible times. Check.

They are oblivious to danger until it is much too late. Check.

They ignore evidence of the supernatural. Check.

They allow emotions to stop them from doing what must be done. At least initially. Check.

Please, spare me from these types of characters and this type of story. I deserve better.

This movie's inspiration deserves better!

But, even with all of that, I must admit the film is not a total loss. The special effects are redeeming quality, and just about the only one.

If you are a fan of horror gore you have plenty to feast your eyes on here.

Nail guns, crowbars, needles, glass, razors, toilet bowls, hammers and of course, a chainsaw...are all used to maximum gruesome effect.

But trust me, that's not enough.

On my rating scale, "Evil Dead" earns a SINGLE. And that's just because of the gore. And that's just barely.

For a much more fun and entertaining experience, rent the original and watch it again.

That's an evening that really would be groovy.

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