Spouse's Spending Habits

We all hear that opposites attract, but when it comes to money, it could cause a break-up. The differing views on finances can drive the happiest couples apart. We have some help to get you through differences in money matters. Author Sharon Durling says there are three things happy couples have in common when it comes to finances.

Love and Money

Determine core values: Durling says a look into your earlier years can help explain your actions as an adult. If your parents were fighting about money, or lying about it, those behaviors could have been learned as a child and repeated as an adult. If money was used as a reward, or withheld as a punishment, that could explain why the same may take place as an adult. Once you discuss and understand your financial attitudes, you can come together to agree on how to save or spend.

Set a price threshold for purchases: Decide together how much you each can spend on a purchase without having to consult each other before buying. For some couples, that could be 100 dollars. It may be more or less, depending on your own financial situation.

Revisit the money topic often: It's important to come together frequently to discuss your goals. Check in with each other every three or four weeks to see if you're still on track.

Coming Together

There are other things you and your spouse can do to help see eye to eye on money. They include:
Reward Time Well-spent

After spending time talking together about money, reward yourselves with something special like dinner out or a movie. If finances don't allow that, treat each other in ways that won't cost a penny, such as taking a nice walk together or enjoying a sunset.

Fight Fairly

If a disagreement over money arises, it's important to communicate your viewpoint clearly. Each spouse should calmly explain why he or she is unhappy and then listen to the other with respect. Then, suggest a compromise. Loss of control and sobbing seldom solves problems.

Divide Tasks

In order to keep both spouses in the loop, you may want to divide money tasks. For example, one person can take care of the banking and investments and the other can pay the bills and do the tax return. However, some people are much better at handling money than others. If this is the case in your relationship, and one person takes charge, the weekly meetings become even more vital.

Work Together

Make sure you and your partner are making important money decisions together. If not, one spouse could feel left out and that could lead to hard feelings. If you're considering making a big purchase together, think it through. What will you have to give up in order to make the purchase?

Get Help

What's love got to do with it? Sometimes it can seem like money issues are taking center stage in your relationship. If you've tried to work out a financial problem with little success, you may want to get professional help. Free counseling can often be found at credit counseling services. To find a financial counselor in your area, contact the Association for Financial Counseling and Planning Education (AFCPE) at (614) 485-9650. You can also check out this Web site.

AFCPE, Ohio State University

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